one breathe at a time

What. A. Day.

Well, I've taken on artistic journaling a bit to help heal. I will say it's very therapeutic it gives me a lot of time to think to slow down and to be present instead of spiraling entirely. I'm not sure if I'll be putting out a podcast episode this Thursday. We'll see. Times are challenging. Things are confusing. Life is unexpected. I am torn between isolation and growth. I know what I should do, but I don't have the strength to be there yet.

I'm going to go for some therapeutic session this week. Aromatherapy, Reiki, Massage and some other things idk. I just need to really be proactive. I don't want to spiral, I know that will be counter productive to my goal. I want to ignore my problems, I want to pretend everything is okay. I want to imagine that almost nothing will change. Yet I am grieving. I am in mourning for what was, what could have been. I am foolishly hopeful for a brighter future still. I can see that there was no path forward the way it was.

I feel like I'm playing a game, I feel like I picked the wrong selection way back too far back to change and now my branching path has suffered. If only life came with a guidebook. If only there was truly a right and wrong choice. I can only hope that this path can lead back to a better version of where I was trying to go.